One of the main practices in tantric intimacy is to eye-gaze with our partner. Why? Why is this such an important part of genuine connection?

Building Trust

When our eyes connect, we cannot lie. Our truth shines through and offers itself to our partner.

We are often taught to lie in relationships — not manipulative lies — just little white lies — that we are happy, that we are satisfied, that we are still committed to each other.

If those white lies build up, then we struggle to make eye-contact. We are afraid that they will see. We don’t want to hurt their feelings. But we don’t know what to do about these feelings.

So, when we allow ourselves to “be seen” by our partner, it is a show of vulnerability and trust. We are willing to have our true self seen. If our partner sees something they are uncomfortable with, then this can open communication about something that has been buried. This is the opportunity to bring together the distance that can creep into a relationship.

Intimate Connection outside the bedroom

There is something about having intimacy outside the bedroom — to know that they are there and connected. Whether we are working around the house or driving the car, there is something magical about simply making eye-contact and smiling. It warms our hearts and kindles that fire inside for each other.

And in the bedroom…

Eye-contact during lovemaking brings everything to the next level. Even if you have never studied tantric lovemaking, the simple act of locking eyes together while you are caressing each other increases the pleasure sensations for both the giver and the receiver.

While in intercourse, locking the eyes together completes the energetic circuit allowing the orgasmic pleasure to flow between you in an infinite loop. As this energy begins to flow, it can become very intense which is felt as a mutual experience when our eyes are fixed on each other. Your hearts start to beat together and you have the sense of holding onto each other energetically while the waves of passion flow through you.

Building the connection

This is why we practise eye-gazing outside of life and the bedroom. It can be challenging if we have drifted apart. It can be confronting if we have old wounds and self-worth issues. But this is where so much healing can take place — to trust our partner so that we can heal together.

As we become more comfortable sitting in front of each other, it will become more natural all day long… and then we can play in our intimate moments as well.